That Rat Ass Bastard.

So I haven't posted in a very, very long while. Mostly because I'm just to lazy to do it. But this most recent event in my life has prompted me to dedicate a BRAND SPANKING NEW blog post all to one guy (who shall remain nameless simply because I said so). So without further a-due I bring to you, the blog reading peeps of the world; That rat ass bastard.


Dear Rat Ass Bastard,

How silly of me to believe that you and I would have ever worked as friends, let alone as anything else. To think, I fell for your stupid fucking bull shit words as easily as they came out of your pathetic, stupid, ugly mouth. For the four MONTHS that you and I spent EVERY DAY talking until late in the night I believed every word you spoke to me. And now, I just want to forward ALL of our messages to your FUCKING GIRLFRIEND WHO I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD. Will I do it? I haven't decided yet. Maybe I should. Maybe she should see what you told me, the promises you made me, the rather shirtless pictures you sent me. Why? BECAUSE YOU SIR, ARE A FUCKING WHORE.

Had I known that you were in a relationship with someone, or that you were using me when you were feeling lonely, shit would be way different. Not only would we have gotten so "Close" but you'd probably be single. HAH Jokes on you because you know what... Now she's going to be single (and not without a guy because she's very, very pretty) and you're going to be homeless. BECAUSE SHE IS GOING TO KICK YOU OUT SO FUCKING HARD AND I'M GOING TO LAUGH WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD. I don't want your sorrys, you need to give them all to her. YOU FUCKING RAT ASS BASTARD. How can you do that to someone? You know what... I don't even care. I guess I can close this "letter" with... I hope you enjoy sleeping under benches and having no penis. Because I hope she castrates you and shoves you out the door like you're nothing. Have a wonderful life. I hate you.

Most sincerely,
Cate The Human



Well my blog reading peeps. I hope this post suits your fancy, if not I'm sorry... Follow me on twitter and I'll give you a direct apology. -I follow back... just sayin' <3 I'll leave you with an "I love you" and a "thanks for reading". So... I love you and thanks for reading. Lol See you next time!! (Twitter @CateTheHuman)    Bye!

~~~~Cate

An ode to my best peeps.

So, lately I've been busy with a countless number of things; most of which are unbearably awful and make me want to rub my face on a cheese grater. But in the midst of all of these things I have a handful of people keeping me put together and sane -as sane as I get-. So I'd just like to take a moment to thank my "peeps" for staying with me even when I can't seem to stay with them.

Dear friends,

You know who you are, therefore I don't need to address you publicly by using names. I fucking love each and every one of you. You are the glue to the shaky foundation of my pop-sickle-stick life and without you my little arts and craft tower would crumble beneath the heavy weight of reality. You are each so important to me in my life... in ways that you don't even understand. This thank you may be a short one... but it's one that I needed to give to each one of you. Thank you for everything you have done, are doing, and will do for me. I love you.

~ Most Sincerely,
                Cate the Human.


For those of you reading this who want to use it for your own friends, please do. You should cherish them no matter how many fights, spats, or rough times. Be there for them no matter what and kick some ass for them when you have to. If you do this I promise you you'll have friends as great as mine some day. Tell your peep you love them and show it every day even if they're moving to another state to get married, even if they're a bit of a basket case sometimes, even if you don't get to see them much, and even if you've neglected to show them that love for a long time. Let them know "Hey, I love you" I don't care if it's cheesy, I don't care if it's stupid. It's something that everyone likes to hear, so tell them. Your friends are worth it, so take the time to do it.

Well, I love you all and you know that. So I'll leave off here! Thank you for reading and sharing with all of your peeps. I hope they enjoyed it. Have a wonderful day everyone... <3

~Cate The Human

1000 Blog View!

DEAR PEOPLE OF THE WORLD,
I thank you and your interwebs browsing for you have granted me the joy of knowing that my blog has been viewed over 1000 times!! I love you all (even if you just skimmed through the posts...). From my cheesegraterface blog to my obsession with Adventure Time (hence the name, Cate The Human) to my most recent ten texts from guys blog I can only hope that you have found my rants, jokes, and constant complaining both entertaining and instructive. I daresay I plan on doing my best to keep the blogs coming having high hopes that I'll one day reach my goal of 1million views. I wish you the best and most humours of days and thank you again and again for helping me achieve this wonderful achievement! KEEP READING! <3

Thanks a million my blog savvy peeps. Remember that you can follow me on Twitter @CateTheHuman or go like my facebook page "Go F*ck Yourself, Thanks." where you can message me, tweet me, or leave me a comment telling me what you would like to see me blog about. Mucho Love! ~Cate The Human



<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Ten texts from guys that piss me off.

So I got a text from a dude the other day that was both immature and totally inappropriate thus the blog was created; Ten texts from guys that piss me off--


So this is how this is going to go, I'm going to list the ten texts in no order, their just randomly placed. Enjoy.

10) 
ME:  Lawls, brb shower. :)
BOY: Oh, and I don't get invited? ;)
ME: No. I don't invite man-children into my shower.

9)
ME: So what are you doing? :P
BOY: Rubbing one out.
ME: Remind me to never touch your phone again.

8)
BOY: Hey princess :)
ME: I spit, burp and play videogames in my underwear... if anyone's a princess it's you.

7)
BOY: Hey baby! :)
ME: Do I look like I wear diapers? Please fuck off and loose my number.

6)
BOY: (Sends me a random picture of their dick)
Me: I didn't know that cell phones worked as microscopes.

5)
BOY: (Sends me a shirtless picture)
ME: Want some whipped cream with that jello?

4)
BOY: Wut r u doin? Wunna chil?
ME: No, I want to hit you with a dictionary.

3)
BOY: Heyy Sexy :D
ME: Hey not-so-sexy!

2)
ME: Dude, I'm so bored... want to go do something?
BOY: By something do you mean me? ;)
ME: No, maybe next time I should clarify.

1)
BOY: dtf?
ME: cys?
BOY: Wut?
ME: Can you spell?



Well there you have it, the ten texts that annoy the shit out of me, hopefully some of you can relate. Sorry I haven't blogged in a while, been busy with my book! Hopefully I'll get another blog up soon! Bye my blog reading peeps.

Thanks for reading! You can find all of my blogs on my facebook page, "Go F*ck Yourself, Thanks" where you can message me or leave me a comment with a blog request! FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER @CateTheHuman, everyone could use more followers plus I follow back! Thanks again guys! ~ Cate The Human