A list of my all time fave jokes that I laughed my ass of at but everyone else seems to think are stupid.

I love laughing, anyone who doesn't love to laugh is one depressing fuck and should take an arrow to the knee (haha theres one of them). So, I give to thee- A list of my all time fave jokes that I laughed my ass off at but everyone else seems to think are stupid;

5) There's a blond a brunet and a a red head all working at NASA. They just finished astronaut training and they get to choose which planet they want to go to. At lunch they sit down and discuss this; The ginger looked up and said, "I want to go to Pluto, because its the farthest from the sun!" The brunet shook her head and said "That'd be nice, but Mars is a much better choice." So the blond looks at the both of them and says "I want to go to the sun!" The ginger and the brunet look at her and say "You cant go there! You'd burn alive!" So the blond laughs "You guys are fuckin stupid, not at night duh!"

I laughed so fuckin hard when my friend told me this joke. I think I may have peed a little.

4) I was walking through the forest when I ran into this naked man who just kept screaming "Imma Tee-pee Imma Wigwam! Imma Tee-pee! Imma Wigwam!" So I looked at the guy and said "Relax man! Your two tents!" 

Lol tell this one to your history teacher, they'll love it.

3)Yo momma's so fat she left the house in High Heals and came back in Flip-flops.

Nearly peed myself hearing this Yo Momma joke. Love them all!

2) This woman walks into an ice cream shop, blond hair, pink dress, big sunglasses; she stops in front of the cashier and looks at the menu for a good amount of time. Finally the young man behind the counter looks at the woman and asks "What can I get you ma'am?" he smiles.
She responds "I'd like a chocolate ice cream cone please."
The boy frowns, they just ran out, "I'm sorry ma'am we don't have any chocolate Ice cream but because we don't have what you like I'll let you have one of any size with any topping for free." He smiles again. The woman nods and looks at the menu.
Finally she looks up at him and says "I'd like a chocolate Ice cream cone please" the boy keeps his calm.
    "I'm sorry, I don't know if you didn't hear me, we are out of chocolate ice cream," he would smile again,"I swear the new one is on the house." she nodded and apologized for her requesting the same thing twice. Again, she looks at the menu, she looks at him and says "Id like a chocolate ice cream please."
The boy behind the counter takes a deep breath hes frustrated. He wondered why this beautiful woman didn't understand what he was telling her, "Look, let me put this in a way you'll understand; when you take the straw out of strawberry, what do you get?"
The woman thought for a minuet, "Berry." she said. 
"Okay, when you take the Va out of Vanilla what do you have?"
She thought again and then answered, "Nilla." 
He looked at her and smiled, "Good now, When you take the Fuck out of chocolate what do you get?"
The woman didn't hesitate to think about it this time, "There's no fuck in chocolate!" the boy threw his arms up and said "Lady that's what I've been trying to tell you!!!"

This is one of the funniest ones I've heard. Love it! You have to tell the joke with some serious attitude to make it funny though!

1) So did you hear about that guy who got his left arm and left leg chopped off by that psycho? *your friend responds with a "No"* Oh, well don't worry, he's all right now.

This is, by far, the single funniest joke I've ever heard in my 18 years of life. I heard it on Adventure Time and literally could not stop laughing... I had the giggles for two days after hearing it. Seriously the funniest joke in the universe.

I love jokes, so I'm always up for hearing a new one! If you have any good jokes tweet me about it, post it to my facebook page, or tell me on Google+ (Cate Finn). I don't care how bad they are, if their funny their worth reading!

Thanks for reading! You can find all of my blog posts on facebook at "Go F*ck Yourself, Thanks." or you can follow me on twitter @CateTheHuman. Remember that I, always open for new blog ideas, but I cant blog about it if you don't tell me what you want! So get on one of your social networks and friggen tell me whats up! Hope you find these jokes funny! Thanks again peeps! ~Cate The Human